Trust me!
Yeah Right.
And what about its corollary, “Honestly You can trust me”?
Why should I believe you?
Trust is a feeling based on how predictable we see the behavior of another person. We trust people because of our experience with them directly or people in similar situations.
Honesty on the other hand has to do with truth. We believe someone is honest when we believe what they say.
We trust when we put our head down on our pillow at night that we will wake up in the morning. We trust that when we get behind the wheel of the car, we will arrive at our destination in one piece. We trust that when we love someone they will love us back. We trust that when we do our best, we will get praised and thanked.
As for honesty, we tend to believe people until they lie to us. And then our on-going reaction is usually not to trust them.
People want to trust others and people are generally honest but what is the message of honestly I trust you?
Our inability to trust someone or something gets us stuck. Stuck in behavior patterns that are destructive, hurtful and emotionally damaging to a wider range of things. Stuck wanting some assurance beyond the words honestly I trust you.
How is trust broken. Usually by the breaking of small commitments over and over again.
Or subtle abuse. The little put downs, the little meannesses, the little self-centeredness that destroy confidence in another person.
When trust is broken it can be repaired but it takes hard work, open communication and lots and lots of forgiving and thankfulness. The words honestly I trust you are not enough. It will take action. Big gestures of fulfilling what the other person wants even if it seems unreasonable.
Find out what the other person wants to start the rebuild the trust? Trust is something that is not bought or sold.
And it becomes important that if you want to rebuild the trust you find out what you need to do to rebuild the trust.
Think of the politicians, the professionals who say trust me. When they do something that breaks your trust, what does it take for you to trust them again? We have had so many “high-flyers” ask us to trust them and then we put ourselves into a situation where we felt ripped off.
I trust people who always do their best. People who keep their word. People who when they are unable to do what they said, tell me they are unable to meet expectations. I trust the situation and the people involved until I get hurt. And while I try to take as little as possible personally, I have learned that insults, abuse and put downs are gifts I can refuse to accept.
If someone tells you that honestly they trust you, or you can trust them, do you? Why or why not? Leave me a comment about how trust issues get you stuck.
Roberta
Simplifier, Presenter, Mentor
Need help getting out of stuck and excelling? Ask me for a free 13 minute brainstorm.
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