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Change is a BITCH!

“I just got this cute new tablet but now everything that took me 2 minutes takes 15. I am so frustrated. Change is a Bitch!” she moaned.

“I need to reduce my stress but moving my accounting to Xero is driving me crazy. I know it will be better, but…” another client wailed on the phone.

“Change is a Bitch! she cried.

A few months ago we moved to a new town. Wow trying to remember all the things that needed to change…and change and then get found and changed again. I begin to understand why some people never move.

Change is a BITCH!

Okay so Change is a bitch but staying in the same place gets you stuck.

One of the greatest enemies of growing is refusing to change and learn and grow.He decided to change the meeting

Can you stop change being a bitch?

Yes but no.

If you see change as a bitch then it is.

If you see change as an opportunity then it is.

Fear of change is one reason why many people and businesses fail to grow. In the last blog, I wrote about not knowing what you don’t know and how that can keep you stuck.  What we don’t know is can limit our choices but the adventure of learning and developing new skills can be AWESOME.

Change is simply clear hopeful accepting new goal experiences.

Clear relates to your vision and your dream of the future once you change

Hopeful is about how you feel about the change. You always step out in hope and faith that the future resulting from the change will be wonderful

Acceptance is the attitude you bring to the adventure of making the change

New is about creating the future which for you will be new and different from where you are now.

Goal is the steps that make up the journey to the vision. You can break down the change into steps and each step is a goal to reach your vision.

Experience is the adventure of getting to where you want to be. There is no good or bad, there is only different. You may arrive and then go, “this is not for me”. But remember, there is no way to go back to what was. You have changed. You have had an adventure so you will change to something else similar to what you had before.

Success thieves keep us from changing. Success thieves make us afraid to step out on the new adventure.

Today make a change. A small one.

Change may be a bitch but embrace her to get out of stuck and excel.

To Your Change

Roberta sig

 

 

 

 

Business Class Mentor

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Too embarrassed to Get out of Stuck?

The phone rings. I know it is my accountant. We have just had some emails go back and forth and I nearly told him to go fly a kite in those emails. So I am embarrassed to talk to him because I feel guilty about what I said. I’m stuck and don’t want to talk to him to move forward.

I am in a meeting and the information I hear is wrong. I have been stirring but now I am too embarrassed to say anymore and so I allow a motion to be passed that gets me stuck and committed to an event I do not support.

Do you ever feel too embarrassed to face up to a situation?

Have you ever done something and then regret means that you dodge involvement further in the situation?

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

English: Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes you are too embarrassed to admit you don’t know something and you become afraid to ask a question or seek a second opinion. I had a doctor tell me once that I would bleed to death if he could not perform an operation on me. Funny but fifteen years later I am still here. I got a second opinion and I am fine. But the consequences of being embarrassed could have got me stuck in a whole new set of health problems.

In business, one of the greatest skills you need to develop is dealing with your embarrassment and asking more questions so that you are dealing with situations as early as possible.

Sounds easy but… so hard to do.

Here are some suggestions to help you overcome your embarrassment and get out of stuck.

  • Swallow hard, take a deep breath and make the call or blurt out what you need to say. The worst thing that can happen is the other person gets upset but if they do, it’s not your problem or your fault. The situation needs to be addressed and the only way you can get out of stuck and excelling is by asking for what you want.
  • Write down the pros and cons of the situation. Create a picture of what you need to have happen and then ask for it. Lawyers, accountants, mentors and experts of all kinds have limits too. They are limited by their experience and knowledge and unless you challenge what does not sit right with you, you will get stuck and worse, you could be out of pocket, out of business or out of the deal.
  • Take some time out and figure out what is best for you. The pause is a great tool to get out of stuck as long as you determine when you will take action.
  • If something happens and you get stuck because you are embarrassed and something happens that you don’t like you need to move on. Forgive yourself for not expressing your opinion and look for the next way that you can make a difference. And look at the lessons you learned so that you can avoid them in the future. Remember motion aids growth which helps you get out of stuck and excel.

Stop being embarrassed and choose to see everything as a learning lesson rather than taking anything personally. It’s life and it’s fun and it’s all an adventure so go for it.

To your success

Roberta sig

 

 

 

 

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Stuck Following Up

The other night I went to a Chamber of Commerce event. After the event, I noticed how many people were challenged to follow-up on the networking they did. Several people I had met before and made a second contact, had never confirmed a “get to-know-you” date.

Many years ago when I met a Jean Barr from Top Achievers Sales Training at a networking event, we exchanged cards with the yes I want to connect and meet you again.

And usually that is the end of the networking. But Jean asked a key question – “When?”  She then asked for permission to call me the next day to set up a time to meet.

I said yes but my experience with other networkers was that they never called or followed up, and I figured she won’t either.

Networking

But sure enough the next day Jean called and we met and we have been strategic partners and friends ever since.

I love the Venus Club Network for exactly the same reason. One of the commitments you make each fortnightly meeting is to meet with one other member to discuss what each of you do and how you can refer people to each other. There is a commitment to refer even if it self-referral so you know the quality of the service.

If you network, you need to follow-up because otherwise no trust will be built.

Follow-up means getting to know who they are, what they do and who needs them. If you need them, then will you use them? If they need you, what do you need to do to show them the value of what you offer. And most often you will not need them today but no one knows the future so sometime down the line, you may need and want to use their services or more importantly, someone you know may need them and your referral is a great way to keep in touch and build RECIPROCITY.

The next time you network, FOLLOW-UP. ….Online, offline, real-time or in virtual space (Connect, Skype, Phone, Hangout)

And share your tips for following up below please and thank you for sharing this blog.

To your excellence

Roberta Budvietas

Business Class Mentor

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“I Don’t Know”

Man-With-Question-06“I don’t know what I don’t know and that gets me stuck because how can I know what I can do” is a complaint of many business owners.

How can you ask for help or get information if you don’t know what to look for.

Everyday, some one somewhere is overwhelmed, stressed and stuck because they don’t know what they need to know. This leads to a condition called “Keep Mouth Shut and Do Nothing for fear of making a mistake”.

But the bravest people learn to ask this question of the so called experts, Okay, if you were me, what else would you want to know about this situation? What else can you tell me that I haven’t asked yet? You don’t know what you don’t know but often the people you are talking to don’t know what you don’t know.

The world is full of assumptions that we all have the same base knowledge. But that is ridiculous. We know that is not true. Just look at your own family – they don’t know what you know and they live with you every day. How can people who you meet or advise you know what you know or don’t know? We teach our children to research and ask questions. But the answers you get are dependent on the quality of the question you ask when researching. We trust Google and Wikipedia but…how accurate are they?

Even getting the search right is a real challenge. We have a problem with our dashboard in our car. I googled for solutions and came up with nothing useful. My husband googled for a solution and came up with treating and feeding it with leather treatment. We used the same tool but came up with very different answers.

More dangerous is getting an answer that is only partly right. One of the most dangerous activities today is how many people use google to solve health issues. We get answers but are they right? They can often make us feel like we are dying or worse need serious urgent medical attention or no attention at all and yet what we have could be treated differently.

By the way the program HOUSE has validity. A few months ago, I sat in the doctor’s office covered in a rash. The doctor opened his special search engine to try to find out what was wrong with me. He narrowed it down to 3 possibilities but luckily the treatments were all similar. A few weeks later we went to the doctor for a recurring problem my husband had and this time the doctor found another possible diagnoses and solution. Hopefully now we have the right treatment and cause.

Have you heard of cases where the doctor or the hospital sent people home with the flu only to find out that they had meningitis or something else VERY serious – like they died within hours of going home.

Is there anything you can do when you don’t know or worse you feel that the people advising you don’t know?

3  Actions you Should take before you make your decision.

  1. If your stomach is hurting then stop and ask more questions and if your experts are unable to explain further, WALK or better yet RUN away and make no decision until you get better information
  2. If you feel stupid when the expert tells you what to do then they probably have not answered your questions or solved your problem. If after you get advice you feel belittled, demeaned or stupid then your “expert” has used their authority to overwhelm you and get you stuck in your own feelings of inadequacy or worse “stupidity”. Go find another expert and remember that you now know some more questions to ask.
  3. If everyone around you says to go along with their decision but you feel uncomfortable with the decision you are required to make then say NO and ask more questions. Peer pressure is a key reason we often get into trouble. Tell your peers to shut up until you can decide.

 

Until you feel comfortable with your decision, don’t make it.

And sometimes you need to fin a mentors or “trusted person” for more information on questions that you need to ask or people you can seek answers from.

To your success

Roberta Budvietas

 

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