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Are we always happy learning those lessons?
History seems to keep teaching lessons but we just may not be listening. Think about it for a moment. We know we should save. We know that fighting often leads to more problems. We know that bullying is wrong. We know that eating too much of the wrong foods over time causes us many problems.
So why do we not learn? We can learn some things in the classroom but we don’t always apply them. Is there a reason for this behaviour?
And that is the key word – BEHAVIOUR.
We all have different behaviour styles. We all act and react in different ways depending on our behavioural style and those styles can keep us stuck in patterns that provide little forward momentum.
Can you change your behaviour? Yes and no, its like changing your DNA. It is possible but expensive. But you can learn how to manage your behaviour and control your reactions.
And how you behave affects how people behave towards you. We all have a behavioural style and the challenge is how to use our style in group environments to get the best from the situation.
Expression of your behavioural style may differ depending on your circumstances but you may not always be able to modify your innate nature without really increasing your awareness of yourself.
So today, look at your behaviour and see if you keep repeating certain behaviours. What experiences are you learning from and what experiences do you miss the lessons on?
Sometimes, you just want to keep doing what you are doing but then ask yourself how is that behaviour serving you.
Think for a moment. When a child misbehaves, we may want to exchange the child for a different one but what we really want is for the child’s behaviour to change.
The key to learning from experience is not the lesson itself but the effect on your behaviour.
Behave today in a way that supports your purpose and keeps you out of stuck.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Roberta,
It’s a good reminder for me to see if what I am doing serves me. Sometimes I am so stuck to my routine that I just accept it for what it is without giving it further thought. By being more aware and asking myself does it serve me and if not what should I change, helps me take steps to changing my behavior. Never easy but there’s a lot of growth in doing so.
Diana – your behaviour is nature so sometimes it is harder to work around but awareness is definitely the key
It’s not only behavior- it’s our mindset. [I can't believe I just put the finishing touches on my blog discussing just this item now. It's a long way from Melbourne to DC- but the brain waves must be strong
.] The world changes quickly- and we need to adapt and adopt new behaviors.
Thanks, Roberta. Great post.
Thanks Roy – been thinking about your comment. One thing I know is that there are certain natural behavioural styles that we keep demonstrating and it is only by discipline and awareness that we can change our behaviour. Awareness and learning about the 6 inches between our ears seems to be the key to a passionate purposeful life
Behavior is too broad a term. I feel specific attitudes play a larger role. Sometimes we know what a lesson is all about (good eating, healthy lifestyle, bullying…just anything) but how we adapt that into our lives will make a huge impact and that adaptation depends upon our attitude…whether we believe it will change or not.
Thanks for the comment Hajra. Attitude is important but many people refuse the personal responsibility and believe that their negative actions will have positive outcomes. It is a challenge and one that many people have learned to avoid while others still are stuck in poor patterns and attitudes. You are enlightened and making choices while others are still stuck in damaging patterns having learned little and behaving and reacting in ways that provide them with little support.
There is an old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog a new trick”. I think it is very hard to control and change my reactions. I am not saying it is impossible, but it is very hard for me. The problem is, by the time I really think about what I am doing I have done it.
I react first and think later. This is very challenging.
My husband knows exactly how to push my “hot” buttons ~ Each time I get upset at him I swear I will never react that way again…but easier said than done.
You do what most people do – we have a behavioural style and we never completely change that. And husbands and mothers definitely know the hot buttons. Be kind to yourself, how would you help your child change the reaction?
Great post Roberta! I find that examining your behavior is hard b/c you never want to look at yourself. I find that outside perspectives help and force me to look at myself. For me, it’s starting the small step of observing my actions.
Was going to comment on the blog, but want to speak instead of your comment. Thinking about how I would help my child change a behavior was very insightful! I suddenly thought of ways that I might effect the change I need to make, but in a less “disgusted with myself” way…a kinder way. I’m working very hard on an issue, and thanks—this is helped me clarify it better.
Let me know how you go – so happy to be of service