The key to getting out of stuck around priorities is to set your own priorities and stick to them.
You need to determine for yourself what is urgent and what is important and act without regret.
Over the last week, several things have made me look at priorities and regrets and purpose as well as the five agreements
The first was the service held in Canada for my mother’s internment. I made a tough decision to stay in New Zealand, 10,000 miles away because my priority was to my family and clients here and there was absolutely nothing I could do for anyone in Canada except look the part of a dutiful daughter. My mother and I knew our relationship and what others think, thought or will think is neither urgent nor important.
The second was several students who apologized for being absent or failing to hand in assessments on time because of other priorities coming up which prevented them from keeping their commitments to meet the agreements they signed for the class (attend 80% and hand in assessments on time).
And the last is the club attitude that people want in professional or business associations. Looking at two different groups, the challenge is one around “being liked” as opposed to doing the business in the most efficient and effective manner possible. The challenge for many professional and business bodies is that personality, assumption and wanting to be liked takes priority over making the tough decisions for the good of the majority or for the group to achieve its goals and purpose.
Here are a couple of ways that I find effective to get out of stuck with priority setting. These are your personal decision and you need to remember that while your decision will affect others, you are responsible for the decision, your action and dealing with the consequences of your actions while avoiding the emotions of regret and guilt. The keys:
- Determine if your action a important, necessary and urgent and if acting will it help you fulfill your purpose in life or even just in the situation.
- Determine if the consequences of making your decision to act in a particular way is your decision or if you are trying to please other people, satisfy social conditions or achieve acceptance from others.
- Determine if acting on this priority means that you break your word on another matter. How will you deal with the consequences of breaking your word to meet the new priority? What will be the long term effects of breaking your word. Will people trust you in the future?
- Determine if this priority is based on an assumption of what is expected of you by someone else. If it is based on an assumption, how can you confirm if it is a fact for you or the situation before you act?
- Determine whether you will feel guilt or remorse if you act or fail to act? Which action will give you no regret?