As many of you know this year we are working on a new eBook and course to help get you out of stuck and help you excel. The material is around the thieves that steal your success. There is a Webinar to discuss the topic on 12th Feb at 10 am New Zealand time. The event will be controlled by GotoMeeting and you can l0g on here but to reserve your space and get reminders for the event you can register here
So over the last few weeks of researching success thieves we have one which I want to share with you here because it is a huge one for me to overcome.
When I am talking I often use absolutes. Absolutes like
- “This never happens”
- “This person is always wrong”
- “The government is stupid”
- “I must do this or else I will look incompetent”
- “People never know what is best for them” or the corollary, “selling always removes people’s freedom of choice”.
There are many other absolutes I use too and usually they come up when I feel slightly stressed or overwhelmed.
As some of you may know, I am studying NLP more deeply than ever. I may actually qualify but in the studying, what I kept seeing was the ways to misuse NLP to manipulate others.
And that started to worry me because I know that I can manipulate and have been accused of master manipulation by my children but in truth, I try very hard to avoid manipulating anyone. So here I am studying a course and what do I see, more ways for me to manipulate others.
But that goes against both my passion and purpose which is to empower people to live their own passion and purpose. And if they are living their own passion and purpose, the last thing I want to do is manipulate them.
And so the thief is in the semantics.
NLP teaches that we give power to our words, our thoughts and our actions and that when we want to give them a different power we have the ability to change the reaction and the programming. All the practitioner does is help the client make the desired change.
The challenge with semantics is to avoid the power that absolutes have to get us stuck in a belief that limits our potential. If you believe a certain something, then it is true regardless of what anyone else tells you or shows you or proves to you. Until you change your reaction and your language around a concept, your belief is so strong that it totally colors your world.
Today, think about what you are doing with your absolutes. Are they stealing your success? Do you believe you can? Or are you waiting for something to change?
The change is like a switch, a paradigm shift in your mind. Flip the switch and you are no longer stuck where you were. Flip the switch and a new light can go on. But beware, sometimes the switch can flip off and you can get caught back in old patterns and habits. Just ask anyone who has quit smoking or lost weight and then finds themselves smoking or fat again.
In the comments, please share your absolutes. The first step to changing them is identifying them The you can decide if you want to keep the absolute because it serves you well or you want to change it to help get you out of stuck.Roberta Budvietas, Change Agent
Have a great day